Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Why is it that . . .

When you turn on the television in a hotel room, the volume is pre-set loudly enough to wake up everyone on your floor? Sincerely, I want to know, why?

A number of possibilities come to mind.

--Hoteliers assume that only seasoned travelers (read hearing impaired from the constant ROAR of jet engines) are frequenting their establishment. Since it will take said travelers such a long time to locate the volume toggle to turn it up (can't they make those remotes uniform?!), why not give them a head start.

--The person who dictates pre-sets is hearing impaired.

--We're all being taped by cameras hidden within the remotes (delightful nose hair shots), and our "bad words" will be used as the background for a violent new rap video.

--It's really an orchestrated technique to help us sharpen the "state" of our reflex abilities. (How fast can we find the correct button?) You know, a little involuntary testy-poo to keep our reactionary muscles in tip-top shape for those last-minute gate changes.

Why is it that:

So many of us leave our cell phone chargers (cords, cradles etc.) in hotel rooms? Have you ever seen the dozens of them in the lost and found? Or called and tried to describe YOUR black cord among their dozens of other black cords? It's mind boggling! (Hint: we should put a name tag on those things!)

A number of speculations come to mind as to why we are so forgetful:

--As a whole, we road warriors are ADHD, which is why we cannot remain in one place for too long, nor remember to unplug our stuff from the sockets.

--"Charge phone" is on our daily travel check lists. We never added "pack charger."

--We don't have an "appropriate," visible and usual place for our cords, one that's emptiness would indicate we are missing one. (Ah, there is always a need for just one more travel bag, the one that gets everything right!)

--We are always in too big a hurry to consider how much more time efficient and, in the end, cost efficient, it would be to pack the cord when we unplug the phone, rather than having to spring for a new one. (This is so DUH! that I can hardly stand it!) Throughout all my years of travel, I've only recovered one lost cord. For the most part, hotels either seem to toss them ("No, we didn't find a cord in that room."), or cannot detect yours amongst their maze.

Why is it that:

We know so much about the disgusting, germ-laden ooky state of the remote controls in hotel rooms (so much so that some of us have taken to using the shower caps to cover them--come ON!), but we don't give a second thought to pushing the buttons on the remote controls in our homes--while using the same hand to eat popcorn. I mean, you KNOW what goes on in your own home. Things related to:

--your nose

--your mouth (this includes what's excavated from between your teeth)

--your children

--your negligent hygiene habits when nobody's looking

Why is it that:

I am now running for a can of Lysol, and that I shall never ever again touch a remote control anywhere without first shower capping it?

Why is it that:

I think about stuff like this? Do you?


Dianne said...

If the remote is skeevy, how about those glassses in the room? (Have you ever held them up to the lights?) Did you ever see new,clean glasses on housekeeping carts? Think aboout how that glass you used was "cleaned" after the previous guest

Charlene Ann Baumbich said...

Oh, man! Now I might have to start drinking out of plastic shower caps!