Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Waiting Game

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
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On second thought, this past week it was--and continues to be--the singularly Worst of times if you and/or your captain and crew members depend upon MD-80s for any flight and/or connecting flight that might--as in might--end up taking you to wherever you need to go, and within a reasonable amount of time, which is hopefully before your meeting is over or you age out of life as we know it on planet earth.

If you're an American Airlines devotee, please know I'm praying for you as I type. If you fly any other airline, odds are your Worst of Times is coming, might already be here, or will come again, so I'll go ahead and pray for you, too. I'm sure every carrier is deluged with the onslaught of AA spillover, so may we all try to maintain peace, if not pleasantries, which are, of course, better than punches, upon which the TSA would surely frown.

In case you are stuck in an airport (or hotel room, or inside a plane, or sitting on the toilet), I thought I'd give you a little something to do to help you smile, or at least groan. (Hey, we take what we can get, right?) Please consider this multiple choice quiz my gift to You Who Wait. Although there is one legitimate answer for each question (I'd give it to you, but Googling for the answers will kill a bit more of your time), you'll note that some alternatives definitely qualify.

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1. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ..." This quote is by:
a. Shakespheare
b. Charles Dickens
c. the CEO of Southwest Airlines
d. the CEO of American Airlines
e. the Chicago Cubs

2. "What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure."
a. Samuel Johnson, 1700s
b. Presidential speech writer
c. American Airlines, recent round of missing excuses

3. "When you drink the water, remember the spring."
a. flight attendant unable to serve beverages due to turbulence (accent on the word WHEN)
b. Chinese proverb
c. vacationer in Mexico

4. "You must continue to gain expertise, but avoid thinking like an expert."
a. Dilbert
b. FAA
c. Charlie Brown
d. Denis Waitley
e. all of the above

5. "It is pleasant to have been to a place the way a river went."
a. Henry David Thoreau
b. Ralph Waldo Emerson
c. Hermelda the cow
d. American Airlines

6. "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
b. Albert Einstein
c. The designer of the electrical components of the MD-80

7. "Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
a. Woody Allen

If you're STILL in the airport, you deserve a break, so pick him and be done.
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Will Rogers said, "We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can." To this I say, AMEN!

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